


The Lonely

by carryonmywaywardcas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bi-Gender Relationships, F/M, HS AU, Human Castiel, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, highschool
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2014-06-23
Packaged: 2018-02-05 20:54:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1831939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carryonmywaywardcas/pseuds/carryonmywaywardcas





	1. Chapter 1

_That's the thing with pain; it demands to be felt._

  
  


  
  


  
  


_Just one more day,_ Castiel thought to himself as he laid out pills. _One more day of this hell, then I can go home. I'm at school, but as soon as those horrid people find me dead in the locker room, they'll know what they did to me,_ his corrupted thoughts continued as the voices got even louder in his head, and it almost physically pained him to hear them again. Over the past month, they've gotten a hell of a lot worse, to where he would harm himself over them. He always wore long sleeves, and jeans that were baggy. 2005 was the year, and he remembered it well. It was the year he first felt like this. It was slow, then all of the sudden. He remembered that it was getting bad in 2004, but he thought nothing of it. It never scared his father, since he was just another child in his eyes, and he had many. Too many to count. Well, that might be an overstatement, but you get the gist. It was a lot of kids, and Cas just felt as if he was looked over, which lead to these thoughts of suicide and self harming. _No body cared_ , he always thought, _no one would care if I just dropped dead in an instant. They have Gabriel, they have everybody else...Gabe is so talented at everything, and I'm just... Castiel, the geek of the family._ His hands shook violently as the bell rang, signaling that school was over. _Thank God._   
  
See, he was pansexual. That's why his parents, well, parent, disregarded him from the family. He never really had found that special somebody, though, and it pained him. No body had his tattoo, no one. Not any guy, not any girl. Gabriel had found his soulmate – they both had the same winged tattoo, with two sets of wings on each side. It was white, filled in with gold, and it was on his collarbone. He always thought it was so beautiful, and was so, so jealous of it. His older brother was always horribly mean to him, since he was pansexual. According to Castiel, his tattoo he was born with was ugly in his eyes. Ragged black wings that stretched from his shoulderblades to the tips of his skinny, thin wrists. It reached to his tailbone. It was horrible whenever he would swim; he'd always get made fun of for his horrible tattoo he was born with. Everybody was born with tattoos, and once they found someone else with the exact same, it was their soulmate for life. It was just... Fate. Their personalities always seemed to click with eachother, and they were always so, so adorable together. But, Castiel thought he would truly never find his soul mate, or that they were halfway across the world.   
  
  
  
  
  
A day had passed, and Castiel knew he was going to do it. He was in the boy's locker room with a jar of motrin and a jug of water laid infront of him. _Sh – should I really do this?_ He thought to himself, having second thoughts about all of this. No one was in the locker room, since it was inbetween classes. He was skipping Science class, his favorite class, for this; something he wasn't sure anymore if he was actually going to do. _No – I need to do this. I can't go on anymore, and I just need to leave. They'll find me and know what the hell they did to me. This will rock their minds, and never do it to anybody else again._  
  
With minutes remaining on his shortened life, he screamed as loud as he possibly could, then punched his locker until his fists were bleeding his crimson liquid which he loved to see, because it comforted him to know he was truly alive. His eyes were filled with salty tears as his facial features made a wince from his bleeding hand. Knowing people would come quickly after the scream, he quickly shoved eighteen of the pills down his throat. Almost automatically, he began to get extremely dizzy, and had to hold on to one of the lockers. “Oh my G – God... Wha – did I do...”  
  
“Hey man! Don't do it!” A voice rang out. The blurry image that Castiel saw was a pale, but tan man that was about six foot, and blonde. Dean Winchester. Shit. He was one of the people that used to make fun of him behind his back, and Cas began to shake even more than he was before. The scruffy brunette felt hands around his back and neck as there was a muffled scream of the said Dean Winchester; the popular blonde. “Someone! I need an ambulance!”  
  
  
  
  
Then everything went completely black.  
  
  


 


	2. Hospital.

As Castiel awoke from unconsciousness, a bright light is the first thing his baby blue eyes set on. Looking around, he began to gasp and hyperventilate a bit from the fear of being found out. His biggest secret – that he was suicidal. Everybody in the school knew by now, and he knew he would be teased even more for it. _Why couldn't I just have... Died?! It would have been so, so much easier than having all of this commotion,_ He thought to himself as one small, teeny tear fell from his face, and onto the tubes that he was connected to. One was to his nose, and tucked behind his ears, and the other one was to his stomach, where he guessed that they were pumping his stomach from the pills. The first one that went into his nose, though, he did not understand. From all of the stories he had heard, he had never heard of the said people whom told the stories getting a tube into their nose. At that thought, he began to panic greatly, and a nurse set a hand onto his shoulder, in an attempt to calm the deep brunette with sky blue eyes. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, the last sight on which he saw was in the room, and he was slowly walking toward him.  
  
“H... Hey buddy... Are you alright?” The blonde asked in a sheepish tone. It was obvious that he was extremely worried for Castiel.   
  
Through a grimace of pain and panic, the angel-like eleventh grader replied, “Fine... I am f – fine...” Dean gave Cas a worrisome face as the doctor began to speak.  
  
“Oh good, you're awake, Castiel. I have some news for you. Oh – by the way, you may call me Doctor Gordan,” the doctor replied in a sweet and soft tone, knowing he was very unstable at the moment.  
  
“What would the news b – be?” The dark brunette stammered.  
  
“One, you should be imported to a mental hospital for further care, but it depends if you have the funds. There are scholarships for them, where you will pay in further months and years when you can collect the funds. Two, I am sorry... But, this may be hard for you to understand, mister Novak.”  
  
“What?! Why are you sorry?!” The machine that was connected to the tattooed highschooler began to beep violently, signaling that his heart rate was going up from panic and remorse. Dean reached for his hand, and squeezed it, which made Castiel feel extremely awkward, and felt as if something was going on, but obviously, he didn't know what. In reality, Dean had seen, and helped the nurses undress him. Dean had seen his tattoo, and he was automatically shocked to see somebody else had his – for he never felt as if he would ever find his true love. But, in his mind, he must have kept this a secret from the gorgeous lad with baby blue orbs which fit perfectly with is deep, dark hair.   
  
“Your... Attempt. It caused a trigger in your brain to where you need a breathing machine to keep you alive. That is what is around and in your nose. You must have a backpack looking thing, which carries your oxygen, and it will keep you alive. Knowing you are suicidal though, we put a lock on the tube which goes into your nose, to where you cannot pull it out.”   
  
_Well, shi –_ Castiel thought to himself, as the doctor said that they had put a special lock onto the tube. He wanted to die, in all honesty. He wanted to leave this place, and escape to where he thought he really, truly belonged – Heaven. He always knew in his heart that he belonged in that strange place. As a much larger sob escaped from his lips, Dean then stroked the hand which he still held. _Wh – Why is he being so kind to me? He's normally a badass. I don't understand this..._ Castiel thought to himself as he felt as if he were an alien, whom the doctors would do tests on.  
  
“Oh – another thing. Castiel, we must put a feeding tube into you,” Doctor Gordan sighed, scrolling through his checklists full of different patients.  
  
“Wait, why? I don't have a problem!” He protested, but it obviously was a lie. He had been starving himself since the sixth grade, and whenever he would eat, he would eat little, then throw it away, if you know what I mean. It was a difficult life for Castiel Novak, oh yes it was. His father didn't care about him, only Gabriel really. He was the prized child of the group, and Castiel seemed to be the lost little child in the mix.   
  
“Yeah, you do, smartass,” Dean protested. _Yep, there's his badass-y side again._ “You tried to commit suicide in the locker room! What would'a happened if a teacher found you, or worse, no one did! You would be dead, Cas!” Obviously, he was angry, but he kept his composure strong, even though salty tears were welling in his beautiful ivy green eyes, which in Castiel's view, he saw peace, tranquility. Soft, beautiful fields of grass that he was free to do whatever he wanted in, with no worries in the world. Even when those eyes were angry, they always seemed to calm the troubled brunette in times of anxiety and troubles. They had really never spoken before this, and Cas had to wonder why he was so protective of this topic. _Maybe he tried to do it? Or his brother? Or his girlfriend? Or best friend, if he has one? I don't know... I'll have to ask, I suppose._ Castiel's thoughts were never-ending in his mind. So much was planted on him at once. One, he screwed up his brain to where he had to have a breathing machine to keep him alive, two, he had to have a feeding tube, three, this Dean Winchester was being awfully kind to him for some reason, which he had to find out. It was itiching him to find out.  
  
“Mister Winchester, please, calm down,” Doctor Gordan ordered. “Now, Castiel, do you have anybody you can stay with?” He nodded in response. “Are they here, and will they give you proper care, mister Novak?”  
  
“No, and no. They will not, sir.”  
  
“Then you need to find somebody else who will keep an eye on you, Castiel.”  
  
You could tell Dean was getting a bit fired up at this point as he spoke up, “I'll take care of him. I'm a senior in highschool, my father lives with us, and my brother lives there as well, sir.”  
  
“Is it a safe household?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Can you come with me to sign these consent papers, please, mister Winchester?” Dean then replied in a nod.

 


End file.
